


i have questions (for you)

by ranpoandpoe



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Angst, Japanese Shiro (Voltron), M/M, brazilian adam, its basically adam suffering bc of shiro's "death"
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-23
Updated: 2018-07-23
Packaged: 2019-06-15 04:53:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 709
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15405399
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ranpoandpoe/pseuds/ranpoandpoe
Summary: how important am i to you, takashi? why did you leave me here?





	i have questions (for you)

**Author's Note:**

> this one-shot was based on "i have questions" by camila cabello. i hope y'all enjoy it!!

everything seemed black and white to adam after takashi was gone. the blue blankets seemed colder, takashi’s side of the bed was empty, and adam’s mind wasn’t. 

 

adam’s mind was full of questions. why did takashi leave him there, to burn? they used to make plans. getting older, buying a house instead of that little apartment, getting married, searching for white hair strands in each other’s heads, while making jokes about how they were old. together. 

 

now, those plans were turned into dust. and that wasn’t even the worst part. adam wouldn’t care if things got different than planned, if takashi was by his side. he wouldn’t care if they lived their whole life in that same apartment, or if they didn’t officially get married, or if they didn’t make jokes about being old. adam was used to being him and takashi against the world, he was used to life not happening exactly how he planned. god, he was a gay brazilian man who was in a relationship with a gay japanese man! and they both lived in united states! things obviously wouldn’t happen exactly how he wanted.

 

although, adam thought that, at least, takashi would be by his side while things happened. but life was cruel. 

 

adam wasn’t able to know which one was the cruelest: death, because it was death that took takashi away from him; or life, because it was why adam was still there, when takashi wasn’t. 

 

tears were running down adam’s face. he remembered that, when takashi first told him about the mission, his first thought was “do you care?”. that’s what he wanted to answer. do you care about me? do you care about how lost will i be if you go away? mainly, do you care about your own life, or are you even more selfless than i think you are?

 

“this mission is important!” 

 

“takashi, how important am i to you?”

 

every word both of them said during that conversation were repeated in adam’s mind, like an echo. why didn’t he care? he gave takashi all of him -- his blood, his heart, his tears. but it wasn’t enough. why didn’t he care? 

 

adam knew that those words could make him look evil. he knew that it could seem that he wanted takashi to put adam before his mission, but it wasn’t like that. adam would’ve asked for takashi to put  _ himself  _ before the mission, but he knew his fiancé. he knew that, as selfless as takashi used to be, it wouldn’t be such a big deal for him to be in danger. 

 

adam punched the room’s white and cold wall. he was there, all that time. he was there for takashi, he would always be, if it depended on him, didn’t matter what happened, but… but now, takashi was gone, and he was there. 

 

he was there, thinking about how takashi’s name used to sound sweet in his mouth, but now it was only a bitter screaming. when people were around, it was only on his mind. takashi’s name. when he was alone, however… adam screamed. screamed until his throat hurt, until he couldn’t make any sound anymore. 

 

why don’t you care?

 

why did you leave me here?

 

i promised i wouldn’t leave before, and i didn’t. but you did. why aren’t you here? 

 

adam screamed. his life after takashi was only that. the messy apartment that would drive him crazy before, but now, he didn’t care. he didn’t see any reason to. 

 

tears running down adam’s face. takashi. his takashi. 

 

“how important am i to you?”

 

another punch. 

 

how important am i to you, takashi?

 

deep inside, adam had a feeling that, maybe, takashi was alive. maybe, he was alive. maybe everyone committed a mistake. 

 

why did you leave, in the first place, takashi?

 

was it my fault? should i have stopped you? what could i have done?

 

if he was alive… what if…? 

 

adam tried to punch the wall, but he couldn’t feel his body’s strength anymore so, instead of punching, adam grabbed takashi’s jacket in his arms. his smell was still there. 

 

takashi… if you’re alive… do you miss me?

 

at this point, adam’s fingers were shaking. 

 

would you come back to me, takashi? would you come back? 

**Author's Note:**

> if you wanna talk to me, you can find me on twitter, i'm @ranpoandpoe


End file.
